(no subject)
Jan. 4th, 2002 11:47 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vyvyanxNothing, nothign, there is void, void, and notihing. Everything is emptiness, and nothing means anything.
I go to the beer festival, I drink and drink. I see many of my friends, we chat about various things. I see W, he is friendly, although he said in his lj last night that he disliked me. He tried to pick me up again. I learn that my friend V is going out with S now.
AFterwards, a few of us run back to the KSR, trying to make it before it shuts. There, O (who I once slept with) buys me a drink. I drink half of it. I see G. I go over and chat. I ask about his life and talk about mine. He says, "I don't want to hate you, you know". I say, "That's not what I'm trying to do, really". Then I say, "is this really what you want?" He says, "What?" and murmurs a bit about stuff I can't quite hear.
I say, "Did you really want to split up with me?" Then we chat, horribly and devastatingly, for a while, as he tells me he never loved me at all, never cared for me at all, doesn't know why he tried for me in the first place, only ever fancied AML in the first place anyway, what does it fucking matter, none of it matters at all, fuck it anyway i dont care i want to kill myself
I go to the beer festival, I drink and drink. I see many of my friends, we chat about various things. I see W, he is friendly, although he said in his lj last night that he disliked me. He tried to pick me up again. I learn that my friend V is going out with S now.
AFterwards, a few of us run back to the KSR, trying to make it before it shuts. There, O (who I once slept with) buys me a drink. I drink half of it. I see G. I go over and chat. I ask about his life and talk about mine. He says, "I don't want to hate you, you know". I say, "That's not what I'm trying to do, really". Then I say, "is this really what you want?" He says, "What?" and murmurs a bit about stuff I can't quite hear.
I say, "Did you really want to split up with me?" Then we chat, horribly and devastatingly, for a while, as he tells me he never loved me at all, never cared for me at all, doesn't know why he tried for me in the first place, only ever fancied AML in the first place anyway, what does it fucking matter, none of it matters at all, fuck it anyway i dont care i want to kill myself
