I am single again
Dec. 30th, 2001 05:13 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vyvyanxSo. I have not posted any entries for a while, as I have been at my parents' house near Oxford. They picked me up last Saturday, after R (G's friend) kindly drove us back to Cambridge from Bar Hill after we'd been watching videos at his place. (We'd seen LotR first - fantastic - and then watched DVDs of Being John Malkovich and Starship Troopers). My parents were delighted to see me and we had a nice meal at home after the hour-and-a-half drive back.
I then spent almost a week there, mainly watching crappy tv, eating, drinking alcohol and chatting. I managed to talk to both my parents with considerable honesty about G. They were eventually very understanding about him, and about my break-up with D. Generally a very nice week. On Thursday night, we all went to see LotR again, and my parents loved it.
I rang G every day, except Christmas day itself, when he rang me (twice). I had initially planned to come back this coming Sunday, but I missed him so much that I got my parents to give me a lift back to Cambridge yesterday (Friday), since G had come back to Cambridge on Thursday. I was in my room on Friday evening, when G rang me, saying he hadn't gone into work that day, and did I want to go round. I walked over there straight away.
We had a great evening, watching DVDs, playing computer games, drinking, eating take-away food (which I went and fetched while G stayed in his warm room), and having lots of sex. Today, we did more of the same. This evening, we got some more take-away food, two bottles of wine, some Pringles, and two videos (Go and The Cell; I'd seen the latter before, but not Go, which I thought was brilliant). Afterwards, we chatted for a while, pleasantly enough.
It struck me to ask G whether he ever replied to L, his sort-of-ex, who emailed him a couple of weeks ago. He said he hadn't, and looked sad. I questioned him for a while, and he ended up saying that he didn't feel 100% sure about our relationship, but he wasn't sure why, and I wasn't to take this as him dumping me. At some point, he said, "What I said that time at the Electric Ballroom [i.e. that he loved me] was not a lie, I really meant it when I said it, you know." And I said, "And would you still mean it, now?" And he paused for a long time, and then said quietly, "No".
And we have broken up. And I have just recently got back after walking back to college the few miles from G's house in such incredibly cold weather that it felt like razorblades on my cheeks. And I'm listening to one of my Christmas presents, which G refused to put on earlier today. I ... don't know what I feel, but I'm trembling.
I then spent almost a week there, mainly watching crappy tv, eating, drinking alcohol and chatting. I managed to talk to both my parents with considerable honesty about G. They were eventually very understanding about him, and about my break-up with D. Generally a very nice week. On Thursday night, we all went to see LotR again, and my parents loved it.
I rang G every day, except Christmas day itself, when he rang me (twice). I had initially planned to come back this coming Sunday, but I missed him so much that I got my parents to give me a lift back to Cambridge yesterday (Friday), since G had come back to Cambridge on Thursday. I was in my room on Friday evening, when G rang me, saying he hadn't gone into work that day, and did I want to go round. I walked over there straight away.
We had a great evening, watching DVDs, playing computer games, drinking, eating take-away food (which I went and fetched while G stayed in his warm room), and having lots of sex. Today, we did more of the same. This evening, we got some more take-away food, two bottles of wine, some Pringles, and two videos (Go and The Cell; I'd seen the latter before, but not Go, which I thought was brilliant). Afterwards, we chatted for a while, pleasantly enough.
It struck me to ask G whether he ever replied to L, his sort-of-ex, who emailed him a couple of weeks ago. He said he hadn't, and looked sad. I questioned him for a while, and he ended up saying that he didn't feel 100% sure about our relationship, but he wasn't sure why, and I wasn't to take this as him dumping me. At some point, he said, "What I said that time at the Electric Ballroom [i.e. that he loved me] was not a lie, I really meant it when I said it, you know." And I said, "And would you still mean it, now?" And he paused for a long time, and then said quietly, "No".
And we have broken up. And I have just recently got back after walking back to college the few miles from G's house in such incredibly cold weather that it felt like razorblades on my cheeks. And I'm listening to one of my Christmas presents, which G refused to put on earlier today. I ... don't know what I feel, but I'm trembling.
