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Dec. 31st, 2001 03:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vyvyanxWell, I feel much more sorted today.
This has been an interesting year. Most of it, I spent sharing my two small rooms with D, trying to keep a low profile, since the college weren't supposed to know he was there. He was writing up his PhD thesis (or rather, generating a series of displacement activities to do instead of his thesis). We were in each other's company 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, sharing a single bed at night, typing all day on our computers, 3 feet from each other. The situation was not helped by D's depression, or absolute refusal to talk about anything. Really quite a stressful time.
In the summer, E picked me up at the beer festival, while D was back in my room, not being very interested in beer. At first, I felt guilty, but after a time, as my relationship with D deteriorated, my guilt pretty much vanished, and I carried on seeing E secretly. I became quite attached to E, but after a couple of months, he seemed to lose interest, and began seeing someone else. I was briefly upset, but got over it.
There were then a few weeks when D was desperately trying to write up before his deadline, and getting me to proof-read the thesis, and I was getting ready for an important conference in Germany. D absolutely refused to go out, drink, or do anything except work or generate displacement activities on his computer. In the absence of E, I escaped and went out clubbing on my own a lot, and picked up an assortment of people for one-nighters. One of these was G, who at the time was desperate to start a relationship with me. I refused, as I was still hoping my relationship with D could work out once his thesis was done.
At last the thesis was in, D was immediately offered a job in Cambridge, and moved into a shared house with my ex I. and friend M. I helped with the move, and all seemed sorted for a while. I went to Germany, and the conference went very well.
Then D became depressed again, for no reason I could perceive, and still seemed unwilling to talk about anything. I had run out of effort for the relationship, and finally ended it. I took up with G almost immediately.
The details of my relationship with G are given in this last month's livejournal entries.
I think perhaps I shall be single for a while now.
This has been an interesting year. Most of it, I spent sharing my two small rooms with D, trying to keep a low profile, since the college weren't supposed to know he was there. He was writing up his PhD thesis (or rather, generating a series of displacement activities to do instead of his thesis). We were in each other's company 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, sharing a single bed at night, typing all day on our computers, 3 feet from each other. The situation was not helped by D's depression, or absolute refusal to talk about anything. Really quite a stressful time.
In the summer, E picked me up at the beer festival, while D was back in my room, not being very interested in beer. At first, I felt guilty, but after a time, as my relationship with D deteriorated, my guilt pretty much vanished, and I carried on seeing E secretly. I became quite attached to E, but after a couple of months, he seemed to lose interest, and began seeing someone else. I was briefly upset, but got over it.
There were then a few weeks when D was desperately trying to write up before his deadline, and getting me to proof-read the thesis, and I was getting ready for an important conference in Germany. D absolutely refused to go out, drink, or do anything except work or generate displacement activities on his computer. In the absence of E, I escaped and went out clubbing on my own a lot, and picked up an assortment of people for one-nighters. One of these was G, who at the time was desperate to start a relationship with me. I refused, as I was still hoping my relationship with D could work out once his thesis was done.
At last the thesis was in, D was immediately offered a job in Cambridge, and moved into a shared house with my ex I. and friend M. I helped with the move, and all seemed sorted for a while. I went to Germany, and the conference went very well.
Then D became depressed again, for no reason I could perceive, and still seemed unwilling to talk about anything. I had run out of effort for the relationship, and finally ended it. I took up with G almost immediately.
The details of my relationship with G are given in this last month's livejournal entries.
I think perhaps I shall be single for a while now.
